“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

If you identify any of the below take a moment to ground this in your awareness so when you notice it happening again, you can challenge the block or replace it with something more useful. This is a process so just think about how long it’s taken to build this barrier to self-love, it might take a little while to turn it around.

  • Perfectionism

  • Judgement

  • Guilt

  • Repressed Emotions

  • Beliefs

  • Comparisons

  • Competition

  • Undeserving

  • Dishonesty

  • Lack of self-forgiveness

When you start to act more loving to yourself you will ignite a renewed relationship with yourself and step onto a path to blossoming path towards loving horizons. You will also begin to program your subconscious mind with a new way of relating with yourself.

Loving yourself may involve pampering and treating yourself in luxurious ways, yet it may also include less glamorous endeavours, for self-love is about doing what most serves you at a given time, and honouring and respecting yourself accordingly.

Loving yourself could be:

  1. Cleaning your home, organising papers and accounts, eating healthy food, paying bills, clearing debts, etc.

  2. Seeking the healing, insights and support that will help you release the attitudes, encumbrances and negative emotions that keep you from experiencing the wonder of your true self.

  3. Ending sabotaging patterns, habits or addictions.

  4. Changing self-limiting beliefs.

  5. Setting new inspiring and enlivening goals, raising your standards and reaching for more.

  6. Doing ‘nothing’; spending time relaxing, reflecting, de-stressing and simply ‘being’ to allow greater intimacy and connection with yourself.

  7. No longer sacrificing to please others.

  8. Respecting boundaries and saying ‘no’ when it feels right to.

  9. Not settling for less or compromising your dreams or values.

  10. Living somewhere that you truly love, or transforming, decorating or renovating your existing home to surround yourself with an environment that is beautiful, meaningful and heart-warming.

  11. Nourishing and caring for your body, such as eating healthy food and exercising regularly. You might join a gym, get a personal trainer, or begin fun healthy activities like salsa, yoga, or a new sport or activity like hiking or running.

  12. Treating yourself to the pleasures of massage, a facial, pedicure, beauty treatments or a new hair-do.

  13. Buying new clothes that reflect your truer self.

  14. Taking up or renewing a creative hobby or passion, be that singing, writing, walking, painting, sailing, or photography, for example.

  15. Being honest and intimate with yourself, and listening to and honouring your feelings.

  16. Going on weekends away, short breaks and holidays to inject greater fun, happiness and adventure into your life.

  17. Being in touch with friends and loved ones, and expressing the love you have for them, which will be nourishing not just to them, but to you as well.

  18. Speaking kindly to yourself, seeing your value and goodness, affirming your positives and being grateful to yourself.

  19. Having a night out on the town: going out for a fabulous dinner, dancing, to the movies or theatre, whether alone, with a friend a friend, or romantic partner.

  20. Meditating and allowing time for greater connection with yourself and quieten the voice of ego.

  21. Being true to yourself, upholding principles and standing your ground.

  22. If you tend to save or hoard money, it could be having a care-free ‘splurge’.

  23. Treating yourself does not need to be a great expense, however, and can be having breakfast in the garden on a sunny morning, taking a walk in the afternoon, having a bubble bath, a candlelight dinner in, going for a swim or watching the sunset.

  24. Spending time in nature to bask in its beauty and grace. We all have favourite nature spots. For some it is the ocean side, for others the beauty of the bush and for some it is to walk in the countryside.

  25. Appreciating yourself for all your gifts, qualities, strengths and achievements, and having compassion and love for any perceived ‘ugly sides’, weaknesses, stresses, trials and tribulations.

The Self-Appreciation Technique

If you are not receiving acknowledgement, recognition or appreciation from others in your life where you might like it, it can reflect where you are denying giving that to yourself.

Take some time at the end of your day to either write down, or say to yourself in the mirror:

  • At least 5 qualities you appreciate about yourself (perhaps that you witnessed that day, or perhaps from a past time or event – whatever comes to heart and mind). Recognise and acknowledge positive qualities, gifts, attributes, strengths, talents, successes and achievements, where and how you make the world a better place simply by being in it, your love, your care, your desire and willingness to grow, and so on.

  • At least 5 things you are grateful to yourself for (again, either that you are grateful for from that day, or from a past time or your life in general – whatever comes to mind). Own and acknowledge the goodness that you are. Appreciate and be grateful for you! Your goodness, innocence and light is the truth of who you are. Whatever ‘mistakes’ you may have made in your life, born perhaps of pain, ego, fear, hurt, anger or being lost, fragmented and self-loathing, know that these mistakes are not who you are. Have compassion for yourself. Forgive yourself. Look to the truth of who you are, the light, and you will begin to feel better and better about yourself, for this is your true nature, and the more you recognise it, the more it will blossom and radiate in your life.

I wish you all the best on your journey,

tammie-WR (2)

Self Love Essence

Too often we put ourselves last, but not anymore! This essence will support you to celebrate your uniqueness and promote your own welfare and wellbeing. Also useful for re-building confidence after a knock to your self-esteem.

Affirmation: I love myself unconditionally and consider my needs in all interactions

Bushflowers – Dog Rose, Five Corners, Billy Goat Plum, Illawara Flame Tree

Dosage: 7 drops, twice a day whilst reading your affirmation, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. You can take this essence under your tongue, in a cup of tea, in your bath or as a space mist. If you are taking more than one essence alternate or choose what you need at that time.

Visit our Bushflower Essence page here to see more of our healing essences or purchase yours below

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1 x essence is $10AUD + $7.50 postage

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2 x essences are $20 + $5 postage.

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3 x essences are $30 no postage.

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